Bah~ Why Does Patience Have To Be A Fruit Of The Spirit?

My Grandma Ruthie used to say, "Patience is a virtue, catch it if you can, seldom in children, and never in a man." Well she had the kids down perfectly, but she was wrong when she said never in a man. I happen to be married to the most patient man in the world... NO REALLY IT'S TRUE! I on the other hand could stand to ask the Lord for some patience, but I'm afraid he'll give it to me.

The two big things that are working at me are my lack of perfection as a mom, and this constant waiting for Princess P's situation to stabilize. I am willing to offer myself some grace as I fall short of being the perfect mom (after all I have 3 small kids), but on the other matter it feels like an emotional roller coaster. The "powers that be" move so slowly and I find myself waiting less and less patiently. Now, the true POWER THAT IS already has things figured out, He just hasn't whispered His plan to me... hence my anxiety and impatience!!!! Do I trust Him????? Well Yes, but can't He fill me in and move a bit faster? All I know is that while I wait I find myself wanting to get in the mix... you know, there must be something I can do!!!!! I'm sure He needs my help... RIGHT! It would actually be an outward sign of my distrust in Almighty God, and an act of pure disobedience on my part to get involved. So, I must patiently wait and obey as He works knowing that He really does have it all under control and nothing I say or do will be of any worth. For now, and hopefully forever, we have Princess P and can love her with the heart Jesus has given us for her. We can pray for her future, and really that's a whole lot!!!!

House Projects And Mommy Guilt

We have been so busy lately doing house projects. We have remodeled our downstairs bathroom, and painted a large portion of our downstairs walls... yes, this would explain why I haven't exactly been current on my blogging. Now picture with me a 1,2, and 3 year old child in the room with a whole lot of paint... anyone but me feeling the tension creeping into your neck and shoulders? My remedy for this scenario was a whole lotta movies (against my better judgement- see prior post) and an itty-bitty living space (think genie on Aladdin) for over a week. My poor kids had to play in small confined areas for days and days. Don't get me wrong... my new bathroom and painted walls make me so happy, but we are only 1/2 way through the paint project and mommy guilt is keeping me from moving forward. I may have to compromise and allow 2 days a week for painting projects until the projects are done. I want to spend my summer outside with my kids rather than indoors painting, so I'd better busta move!!!!

Precious Moments

Let's start with a confession... I Love Magazines!!!! While laying in bed the other night I came across a little blurb about a family that tries to spend the occasional evening "unplugged". This means no computer or TV... you get the idea! They talked about how it promotes healthy interactions and all sorts of other benefits. Having a 1, 2, and 3 year old I rely on the TV for sanity even though we do not have cable. Putting in a movie = instant babysitter for when you have to make lunch/dinner or clean a bathroom really quick. I do not like or promote this idea, but it has become a necessary evil, UNFORTUNATELY! I decided to give the "unplugged" concept a short trial run last night and I am so glad I did!!!! Here's how it all went down... Jeff came home from work and the kids were still napping, so we seized the moment and hung out on the couch and chatted. The Princess was the first to wake up so I went and grabbed her and sat back on the couch with her and fed her some chips. Jeff and I continued chatting until "the Boyz" woke. This is typically when the TV goes on so I can make dinner... NOT TODAY!!!! I asked Jeff to bring down the portable CD player and got some VeggieTunes playing and the games began!!!! There was singing, dancing, and all sorts of general mayhem... FABULOUS!!!!! After dinner was done we brought out the Play-Dough and continued enjoying one another's company. Dessert was FF Cranberry-Orange Muffins (but the kids call them cupcakes). I had to run out for a meeting while they were in the oven, but I am satisfied knowing that for a few hours my kids and husband felt like the center of my universe. We only get these moments once we might as well cherish them!!!!!!!!

Princess P~ Positive Changes

I am going to take you all back a bit so that you can understand a small bit of this case. Be careful, I'm gonna talk about the Lord and might even sound a little crazy, but I assure you I am only moderately crazy! WINK!

The day I goth the call from Princess P's social worker telling me her tribe had found her a home out of state still seems a bit surreal for several reasons. The main reason is that when you get this little bundle and spend all day caring for it you begin to think of it as yours. This is not all bad, but when you hear they may be moving "your" baby you've had for 10 months to a different state it comes as quite a shock. Thank God for the subtle ways he worked to prepare my heart for "the phone call". For example, why had I developed such a passion for worship music that sparked me to create a worship play-list on my computer, and why did I just need to listen to it the morning I got the dreaded call? I literally answered the phone and had to tell her social worker to hold on while I turned down the music. You may say coincidence... I say DIVINE preparation for what was in store! I remember looking at Princess P and telling her "You were never ours, even if you had been born to us you would still belong to Jesus." At that moment a wave of peace came over me. God is so gentle and the grace and peace he provides in the midst of the storm are amazing. Jeff and I took her to church knowing we were going to surrender P to His will similar to Abraham and Isaac. This was no easy task, I struggled and my emotions were all over the place. I started to cry the moment I walked in the sanctuary doors knowing the Lord needed to have His way and yet I was struggling with my will at the same time. We went forward for prayer (something that still freaks me out and I grew up around it) and were immediately surrounded by friends and loved ones. Our Pastor's wife prayed with us and her prayer was so incredibly accurate it opened my eyes to some things. Once again I was so aware of a deep sense of peace. I'm not saying I don't still battle occasional fear, but deep inside I know God's perfect will will be done in this situation and that we will all be OK.

As things stand (based on today's conversation with the SW) both out of state homes have fallen through and we can't help but be a bit hopeful. P's tribe can still come in with a home placement, but I have the same comfortable confidence that the Lord will have His way no matter what.

The Blues

Jeff called me this morning and when I asked him how he was doing he admitted he was feeling a bit down. I wanted so badly to give him some good news like I'd found $100 under the bed, but I had nothing. So much for lifting up my husband when he was feeling down.

Shortly after talking with Jeff I got a call from "adoption support" for Tot's upcoming adoption. I've heard horror stories about this portion of the adoption process. The woman I spoke with was very kind and ultimately worked very hard to get us all she could. While it wasn't what I had hoped for it was at least something. The next step is working with the lawyer and getting our court date for the adoption. We are so close I can feel it! I thought this was exciting, but when I called Jeff to fill him in he didn't seem to cheer up... this was one tough case of the blues!

Princess P came home from a visit with her parents and I called her social worker to give her some information about the visit. During our conversation we began to talk about her case a bit. Now Princess P has been in our care 11 months today and her case is moving towards termination of parental rights quite rapidly. If she becomes free to adopt we would love to have the opportunity to adopt her, but it has seemed unlikely due to the fact she is 1/2 Native American and Jeff and I just aren't. Her tribe has been actively seeking native placement for her since they learned TPR was imminent. They found a home in Montana, but that fell through somehow, so they started looking at a home bio mom suggested in California. There are some "concerns" about this California placement, so they could potentially be back to seeing us as an available option. Things change so rapidly we aren't going to count our chickens before they hatch, but this was good enough news to pull my sweet hubby out of his battle with the blues. Please be praying with us that Princes P gets to stay with us. God is her "Divine Protector" but we would like to be part of the process as well.

Spud~ Full Up!

I've chosen to skip to current events. Between getting Princess P and now here are the highlights...

~We had some dear friends for an eight week stay during the months of May and June... the state was a hoot to deal with for this short adventure! Remember sometimes you just gotta be tough!!!!!!!!!

~Tot's bio-parents have lost their parental rights and we are weeks from adoption. HOORAY!!!!!

~Princess P turned 1, learned to crawl, walk, and now RUN!!!!

~The Holidaze were plagued by sickness... ear infections, and the croup! I get tired just thinking about it!!!!

~Princess P's case has taken a turn we are not at all excited about and it's likely she will be moving to Montana or California some time this year because she is native and we are not. We are praying hard against this move!!!!!

~We just got another little guy Spud (2 1/2)... he has a sweet smile, a gentle spirit, and a mo-hawk that gives Spud the title of "best haircut in the house"!

Jeff and I are still enjoying being foster parents even with 3 kids ages 3 and under. Today was check-up day for Tot and Princess P. Tot got 2 shots and enjoys showing me his "owies". He is in the 98th percentile for height and weight... BIG BOY!!! Princess P escaped shots today, but enjoyed the echo she found in the exam room! Try talking to your new pediatrician with a 1 year old shouting because it sounded cool... Thank God Jeff was there with me!!!! I LOVE YOU HONEY!!!!!! You pretty much ROCK!!!!!!

Princess P~ My 22 Pound Cake!

Here is the story that happens all too often. Kids are removed from their unsafe situation and they have no place to go, so they spend the day at the DSHS offices passed around to whatever social worker is available at that moment. They hang out either at the social worker's desk or in the visit rooms intended for when children are there visiting their bio-parents. Please understand I am not against this practice, in fact I am glad it's not against policy. This is not a line of work where you can predict what will happen, and sometimes you just have to do whatever works in order to keep at risk children safe.

On April 9, 2009 I got the call I had been hoping for... it was a call from Tot's social worker asking us to take a baby girl. Now, Jet was going to be moving any day to live with his 1/2 brother and his 1/2 brothers dad who loves Jet like his own son. We were just waiting for dad's fingerprint results to come back before the big move took place. That being said, when Tot's social worker called me and asked me if we could take a little 5 month old baby. I started asking questions and discovered that baby girl was at the office and J (Tot's social worker) was holding her just like the situation I described above. I of course said "yes" and waited patiently to meet this little girl. Jet had just arrived home from a visit with his bio-mom and I found out that Jet's visit supervisor had seen and held this little bundle. Both J and the visit supervisor mentioned this little girl's super chubby cheeks, but in my wildest dreams I could not have imagined these cheeks! Princess P arrived at my door and I was in shock! Now I had seen chunky babies with chubby cheeks, but wow, I had never seen them like this! That afternoon, after discovering the price of formula, I made Princess P a WIC appointment. It was at this appointment that I discovered that Princess P weighed 22 pounds. Now it's a bit alarming when one this age weighs this much. It can impact their ability to roll over, crawl and walk, not to mention put them at risk for diabetes, but you don't put one this young on a diet. You gave them their regular feedings and then wait for them to grow in to their weight. In the meantime, you kiss yourself some sweet little chubby cheeks!